June 27, 2013 another day misshapen like any other by the constant memory of life. No longer I'm I satisfied in putting a blog within a social networking site knowing that every word or sentence constructed comes under scrutiny from those that know you or think to know you. The quality and attempt at free speech and self expression is becoming rare and hard to accomplish the more you are involved within the professional sphere of what we value as "Work". Sometimes I miss that freedom that youth reserves; the freedom to be idealistic and to bathe within the light of pure reasoning. The ability to question, deny, and collaborate in breaking down the barriers that seem to structure a rigid form of who you should be. I envy those people that are able to speak the truth whenever they mean to without worrying about sensitivity or reprimand. I often wonder why we must choose between our freedom and our survival.
I'm surrounded by people who are self centered and who constantly feed you their ideology of how great they are or why they deserve to be worshiped. The reality is that I could care less about who they are especially, if they are too dense to notice that the world isn't centered around them and what they ate for breakfast. There are so many more things to work on and to change that is simply not acceptable to just sit back and determine that your interests should be focused on "Yourself".
Love on the other hand is quite confusing...At times you wonder why you even want to be in love with someone. The reciprocation is low and the commitment is high. Either way, both sides struggle to retain a foothold on what they think is right or true in a relationship without really thinking what that piece of space really possesses for the other. Yet, to maintain the dignity of company and to avoid the empty feeling of meaningless time; we stick around often repressing the spirit within, and the reality of what passion, drive, and happiness really is.
It's quite difficult to come out and say to the world my life is difficult and it's a struggle. The Theory of Moral Sentiments clearly defines what others really want to hear from you; It's not communication that deals with your grieve or your depressive moods; what they want to see is your smile, good attitude, great communication skills, and the ability to make them feel comfortable. Unfortunately, not all of us have learned to be good at listening not only when it's good but also when it's horrible. In those terms, this is why writing is a tool for the unheard. It allows you to express what is not really communicated when is necessary to be seen. Maybe someday things will change and humanity will learn to care for more than the happy words people want to hear.
I once met a guy who still inspires me to believe that naturally we are all meant to be free to be who we are. Unfortunately, those lessons don't come easy to all of us. If only we hoped and believed that in order to possess all; what is needed is not fortune or even recognition, but just to be happy; surrounded by the things that you enjoy and the things that make you feel alive.
Listening to: Florence and The Machine